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  “Even the clumsiest, uncoordinated leader will move across the dance floor with a following spouse. Yet, the finest, smoothest, and most confident husband remains stalled with a partner, who has decided not to follow.

  "Marriage is like that. One leads; one follows.

  "Marriages get better when these principles are applied. Yet, either spouse, who will not learn to dance, or do their part, may find themselves alone, howling at the moon, or sitting on the

  fence in the cold night. First, just one night, then more often, until the marriage dissolves or grows apart without anyone knowing how the dissolution occurred.

  "In the modern world, which stands against God and marriage of a man and a woman, questions and doubts arise. Generally, these questions and doubts come from the spouse who must elect voluntarily to follow the other across the dance floor of life.”

  The couples looked at each other, questioningly.

  "Will they mess it up, you may ask. He may mess it up . . . I did . .

  . I know, and it costs me a great amount of money to repair my mistakes. Pray that he will quickly learn his God ordained role to become the leader of the home. Let him know he leads of your marriage. Let him lead; let him experience short comings, and pay for his mistakes.

  “He will get better, and he will love his wife more, because you have seen him in a struggle, and he has learned that you still love him. Criticism goes against a man’s ongoing desire for acceptance, approval, and affection.

  “Even helping your husband, unless he asks, can hurt the relationship. Let him experience the problems, and come up with his own solutions.

  "'What do I do?' you're asking. 'I pursued him; asked him to marry me. We may not dance well, but we do dance, when I tell him. I lead, but nobody knows, except him'.

  “To those who dominate your husband to this extent, you have an almost impossible problem, although nothing is impossible for a loving God. With great difficulty and submission, change will come to him.

  "Or . . . what if he directs me to do the unthinkable? To something to which I would say, 'No way. Not here, or not now.' If the unthinkable borders on Biblical, illegal, immoral, hurtful etc. I suggest talking to Pastor Ernie.

  “If not hurtful, etc. do it. Follow him. Or say, 'Okay, I'll do what you say, but I’m not too comfortable with this.' Sinners do foolish things, I know . . . I did. It may be a good idea to talk it over.”

  You tell them, Jack, Rod thought.

  "Marriages develop into long love affairs from acceptance and adaptability. Some couples question the validity of Biblical truth, not wanting to trust God or His Word or they fail to understand His design for marriage, or the differences between the men and women He created. Some may have a good marriage, but if they choose, they could have a terrific marriage. Both spouses have to determine that they must adapt and go God’s way.

  "Well, I can speak for the men. Now, I'll let Blanch share. She will talk to the women."

  Anne turned toward Blanch, a thirty something with an oval face, soft brown hair, flaring out just above her shoulders, and looked

  at her attentively.

  BLANCH STARTED: "First, to the men I would say, I agree with the characteristics of the normal male. Men are rough, uncouth, risk takers, athletic. Everything we aren't . . . and more."

  Is she going to say the same thing? I got it, already, Rod wondered.

  "Although we can follow the roles set forth – for me, love must

  be expanded to a definition as God has described in 1 Corinthians

  13.

  “For example, I never saw love to include sex. I don't know where sex fits in. I just thought it occurred in marriage . . . a necessary, nice part. We really missed those close times of intimacy, when we found ourselves too tired or he worked late."

  Jack took the microphone, and added to what Blanch said: "I wish my Dad was here, because he could speak about missing the intimate times, note that I didn't say intercourse, he passed Viagra a long time ago, but the touching in a non-sexual way. He misses the touching, kissing, etc. since his wife decided intimacy meant they were both in the same room reading books." Jack gave the podium back to Blanch.

  "Let me say, somewhat reluctantly, it took a lot of backing off, but now I agree with everything Jack said. Let the male alone, and he will be the best provider, defender and take-charge man a women could want. I know about, Jack. I love him.

  "I mentioned that it took a great deal of backing off to find this out. The world has so conditioned men to be like women. We see this in clothing, workplaces, and housing decor.

  "Jack tells a story about going to an all men's meeting at Fred's house. The men were cooking bacon and eggs, and one man reached into the frying pan that had the excess bacon to grab a piece of the already cooked and dried bacon. He then ate the bacon strip in the middle of the kitchen!”

  Rod thought, what else? It 's natural. Only if there is a female

  near-by, would I do it differently.

  "I was aghast -- the first time I heard this story. I interrupted him.

  'You mean without a plate?' 'Of course.' He continued that the other men of the group also fished bacon slices out of the same pan and ate it.”

  See, I told ya, Rod delighted.

  "One of the men said, 'I'll bet you wouldn't do that at home, where somebody will slap your hand?”

  "'Yeah, but we're all men, so it's okay.'”

  "Jack goes on to tell me that they then turned into the Dining room, which had been set the night before. Gracie, Fred's wife, had used the best silver, provided china and two glasses at each place setting.

  “All gleamed perfection . . . the Dining table, covered with a tablecloth and a centerpiece of fresh flowers. The men proceed into the Dining room, sat at the settings and behaved just like women at a tea. Isn't that a hoot.

  "You have heard the expression, 'Boys will be boys.' Well, I say,

  'Viva la difference!' Women, listen to me, men want to be in- charge. Let them!

  “I thought Jack had made a terrible mistake buying our house, but now I find that he made a good decision. At first, no. Later, I love it, and him for making that decision."

  Well, goody for you, Rod thought.

  "I think of our marriage as a dance, and he is my partner, leading me across the dance floor of life. If we both lead, we go nowhere.

  “If I let him lead, we make a beautiful couple. Wouldn't you agree? Even if Jack has two left feet, which he doesn't, if I let him lead, we would still be a better off couple than if I led.

  “Jack, do you have something further?" She nodded toward him. "No, I just wanted to close with a test they can discuss at their

  tables. Here's the test.” He walks to the microphone. “A husband driving home from a party pulls off and parks at North Lake thinking of something romantic.

  “His wife looks out her window, and reads to herself a sign that says, 'No Parking.' What she says next, and how she says it could make for a fantastic or an awful night.

  "I can't wait to see your thoughts on submission, love, and the pictures you will draw."

  Anne thought about what Blanch just said. She also noticed the rain streaking on the windows, and wondered what next?

  CAROLLE said: "I certainly need to back off a bunch. I know you think Rod is in charge, but not really. I know what he wants to do, but I am always there, ready to do it my way."

  Maryann turned in her seat. Emotions under control, she questioned the speaker: "I don't agree that all men and women behave that way. I'm not chatty. Edward is quiet, but I'm not chatty or manipulative."

  Anne added: "Me too. I'm not chatty, either."

  KB commented: "If I had pulled off the road next to North Lake, and Anne said something about the sign . . . it would have been curtains! It would have ended in a big argument and a terrible

  evening"

  "I wouldn't have said anything," Anne lied.

  Rose jumped in to quell the disturbance brewi
ng: “You know, it would have been a silent drive home. But I would not have let it end there.

  “I've learned by attending these retreats, and I would apologize to Mike for what I said and was thinking. We are not perfect, but we do forgive each other, and like Paul says in Acts, 'But none of these things move me' (Acts 20:24)."

  The test produced much talk among the tables. The wives explaining that they weren't talkative or manipulative. The men thought with only one side of their brain. The men delighted that someone had said what they knew about being different.

  No one spoke softly or suggested that the man relocated the car. Rob spoke up: “ Rose, why did Mike turn home?”

  “Were not perfect. He wouldn't know what else to do.”

  Carolle added: “What if he parked somewhere else. He could have seen the sign.”

  Rose stated flatly: “Mike would have parked in that spot. He doesn’t see much.”

  “I've got it,” Maryann shouted out above all the commotion.

  "If you all agree, in Ephesians, Paul says 'Wives be submissive to your husbands as unto the Lord.' Then he follows that with

  'Husbands love your wives,' and so . . . I think we should make a picture of both the wife and husband kneeling to each other."

  Edward replied first: "Fantastic! Jolly good!"

  Carolle added her support: "Yes!" A big smile let everyone know she agreed with the picture proposed by Maryann.

  Mike asked: "You all agree?" "Yes."

  Eventually, they showed the picture to the group.

  Rod pointed out the window, now streaked with big rain drops falling: "It's raining. I'm getting hungry, are we going to be trapped here?”

  Lunch announced by the Head Rosita required everyone to run through the rain. "A warm lunch would heat your hungered tummies," he said, holding his hands over his head about 12 inches apart.

  Carolle tried to put the rain into perspective: "It will quit soon –

  besides its warm outside."

  Anne looked at the rain. Anne didn't know what to do.

  Rod stated what all were thinking: “Aren't they going to do something else?”

  --8--

  AFTER LUNCH, SATURDAY, THE TABLE Folks said their good-byes and disappeared with their mates. They stopped at the door briefly, and then went out into the rain. A little rain weighed against remaining in the Dining Room and staying all

  cooped up with their leaders and table mates. Besides, they ran through the rain to lunch when the rain came down in big drops.

  "I've never seen that before. They couldn't wait to be with their spouses," Rose commented.

  "They really flew out of here," Mike said calmly. "They must have a whole bunch to share that they didn't say to us. That is the way it is for table leaders. Isn't it?"

  "We have both been table leaders before . . . they sure were eager.”

  “What do they have to say to each other? Maybe we did something wrong.

  “Maybe, we didn't dig deeper. Maybe the discussion about the test that Jack gave us caught us by surprise. As table leaders we should not be surprised, and acted like non-Christians. We should have been ready.

  "We did get caught by the test, but remember this is God's thing. We perform like His instruments," Mike reminded Rose.

  ANNE MOVED KB to the line outdoors after lunch. The Head Rosita indicated that they were to discuss the rollos, but Anne was turning over in her mind what Jack just said about the difference between men and women. Maybe Kenny acted like all men, she thought.

  Anne remembered, that the Head Rosita had held his hands over his head several feet apart, and announced, “Freetime.” No rollos were planned until later, and now each person could be with their spouse and discuss the talks so far," he explained.

  The rain had changed from big, constant drops to small, infrequent drops. The sun peaked through, and the rain became a welcome soft summer rain rather than a downpour that everyone ran through to the Dining Room, after the Jack and Blanch's rollo.

  KENNY FOLLOWED Anne down the concrete walk to a secluded spot. He thought aloud about breakfast: "I couldn't believe the spread they provided: bacon, ham, eggs, pancakes, and I didn't have to ask about coffee. Those cooks have something I don't have."

  Anne kissed him and said: "Is this a great retreat or what? I have never been on one of these. Last night my luggage was on my bed with a hand written note from my table leader., Rose. Maryann got one too, different from mine.

  “We compared. We both had an angel on our notes and they were signed by Rose, so we realized we would be together for something.

  “A woman waved at me, so I said, 'Hello.' I know we weren't suppose to talk, She didn't; I was ready, but it 's a ridiculous rule. I don't know why they make a big deal about it. Did you guys follow it?"

  "I don't know anyone that spoke until breakfast."

  ROD HELD Carolle by the waist as they walked in the soft rain: "I really missed you last night, all warm and cuddly."

  "I missed you, too. Did I do okay speaking about my relationship with Jesus?"

  "Fine."

  "Well that is exactly how I feel. There is something indescribable. It is hard to say to someone, 'You really must let Jesus into your heart.'"

  "Yeah."

  "It can be insulting to share. One must be so careful that you don't imply that they could do better."

  "Yeah."

  "So, I did okay?" "Yeah."

  EDWARD GRABBED Maryann's hand. He looked both ways. They walked in the rain to a spot where He thought they could be alone for a while. Edward sat down, leaning against the hill in

  the sparse grass. He looked around. They were finally alone.

  No being nice, meeting new people, saying things that you didn't want to say. No looking at strange people. No tests. The rain had become softer. The warmth of the rain felt good; besides the rain had almost stopped.

  Maryann expressed to Edward, "All that noise, it's killing me. No wonder. All the folks look younger than us, they are. It's only one weekend, but I had no idea that they would separate couples into two dorms. This is a couples retreat.

  “Anne really wants KB to become a Christian. She went on and on about having a Christian husband and Christ in her home. I heard her tell Kathleen. I tried to shut her up . . . but to no avail." Maryann rambled. Edward hoped the rain would stop, and he settled against the hill trying to relax.

  Edward turned his bony body trying to find a comfortable spot against the hill. He acknowledged Maryann and her ramblings: "This is a nice place." Edward closed his eyes. He wrapped his hand around his neck and tried to go to sleep.

  Maryann continued: "I mean sleeping bags don't suit us. I had to borrow two from the Gladstones."

  MIKE HAD an opportunity to say what was really bothering him. Mike wanted to know about his table leading. He moved Rose gently to a private corner in the Dining Room where he could ask her. Besides, the rain kept them inside. He knew her well. So, he asked her straight out: "Did I do good as a table leader?"

  "You didn't do much. I guess it was okay. Nobody complained." "We blew it on Jack's test, he must have added that test. I never

  herd it before.

  “As a table leader, you know, you don't do much, except get a conversation started, or keep a conversation going. You have to get everyone involved. Occasionally, you have to remind the table the subject of the talk. Or . . . if you are running out of time, you may remind the table that they have to draw a picture.”

  "I think you did that once. Now, that I know what you were doing, you really listened, and let them wander a bit. Gee, you

  did the table leading just like you said," Rose said, feeling proud of her Mike.

  That's exactly what he wanted to hear: "Now, if my talk would go as well."

  "Of course it will. You have been practicing. The other table

  leaders critiqued you. I remember you were a bit down, then you changed the talk to fit their desires.
r />   “I think God played a role in the critiquing and He won't let you give a bad talk." Rose had faith, and laid it all out: "You are His instrument. You will be fine. God won't let you down."

  "THOSE COOKS really doted on us. They were so nice," Kenny said. "The cooks glowed. They had something I didn't have. Did you see it?" Kenny asked Anne: "Did you see it too?”

  The opportunity she and God had waited for; Kenny comparing himself to someone else, but God wasn't saying to her, "This is it! Jump in and tell him, he can glow with Jesus."

  Anne acknowledged that Kenny’s coming to God belonged to God, and His timing was always perfect. She wouldn't say anything.

  She replied to Kenny's question: "That is the same glow that the girls in the church office show me. Come to think of it, they go out of their way to help me find something." Anne prayed, thank you Jesus. You have him noticing and thinking.

  Then she told the Lord what loomed in her heart, I know this is Your weekend, but it would be so nice if Kenny would ask You into his heart and You would guide him. Also, You know I'm getting older, and kids and a family will not be possible.